Things which make sense

1. If time doesn’t wait for you, don’t worry!
Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!

2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good
person is like expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a
vegetarian.
Think about it.

3. Beauty isn’t measured by outer appearance and what
clothes we wear, but what we are inside.
So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!

4. Don’t walk as if you rule the world,
walk as if you don’t care who rules the world!
That’s called Attitude…! Keep on rocking!

5. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better
man than she did
and is convinced that
her son will never find a wife as good as his father
did!!!

6. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank had no
affair.
When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.
They said , he who never lived, cannot die!

7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?
He’s now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists
for being cruel to the Crocodiles!

8. So many options for suicide:
Poison, sleeping pills, hanging,
jumping from a building, lying on train tracks,
but we chose Marriage, slow sure!

9. Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!

10. All desirable things in life are either illegal,
banned, expensive or married to someone else!

11. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru
We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi
So what do i do ?

12. When things go wrong, when sadness fills
your heart,
When tears flows from your eyes always say these words…
Why me…

13. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.
Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of accidents
are due to driving without drinking!

clever friends

A Girl is giving directions to her new boyfriend to get to her apartment.

She says: “You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A, and with your elbow push button 14A. Come inside and you’ll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the elevator you’ll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I’ll open the door for you”

The boyfriend says: “Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow ?”

“Oh my God!! You’re not coming empty-handed, are you?”

Management Lesson

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director, “what is the criteria that defines a patient to be institutionalized? ”

“Well,” said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub, we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub.”

1. Would you use the spoon?

2. Would you use the teacup?

3. Would you use the bucket?

Oh, I understand,” said the visitor. “A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon.”

No,” answered the Director. “A normal person would pull the drain plug.”

He flunked….. …..

There is a difference between an objective and actions!

Unless you understand your objective, you will be wasting your time in your actions.

Effort is important , but knowing where to make an effort makes all the difference !

A giant ship engine failed. The ship’s owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine.

Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was young. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he

arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom.

Two of the ship’s owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man

reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully

put his hammer away. The engine was fixed! A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.

“What?!” the owners exclaimed. “He hardly did anything!” So they wrote the old man a note saying,

“Please send us an itemized bill.” The man sent a bill that read:

Tapping with a hammer…… ……… …….. $ 2.00

Knowing where to tap………. ……… …… $ 9,998.00

Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort makes all the difference!

Good thoughts

Pain is physical and ceases with the event

Suffering is psycological and has its continuity in thought

Suffering is sourced not in reality but in divisive perception

It would end only when our perceptions would shift from devisiveness to oneness with all that is

If our perceptions change our experience of life changes

If our perceptions change our actions and our responses to life changes

A whole new life becomes possible – Source http://streams.spicewebs.in/oneness/

Another nice quote from the movie The Pursuit of Happinness
Happiness is something it, we can only pursuit and may be we could actually never have it, no matter what…
Hope is a good thing, may be the best of things and no good thing ever dies (from – The Shawshank Redemption)

Marriage

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her -  David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together – Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher – Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them – Anonymous

The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want?” – Dumas

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me – Sigmund Freud

‘Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.’ – Anonymous

‘There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.   It’s called marriage.’ – Sam Kinison

‘I’ve had bad luck with both my wives..
The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.’ – James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up. – Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…. – Nash

You know what I did before I married?
Anything I wanted to – Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met – Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong – Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: ‘Wife wanted’. Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: ‘You can have mine.’ – Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): ‘My wife’s an angel!’
Second Guy: ‘You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.’ – Anonymous

BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU HAVE!

I walked into the grocery store not particularly interested
in buying groceries. I wasn’t hungry. The pain of losing
my husband of 57 years was still too raw. And this grocery
store held so many sweet memories.

He often came with me and almost every time he’d
pretend to go off and look for something special. I knew
what he was up to. I’d always spot him walking down the
aisle with the three yellow roses in his hands.

He knew I loved yellow roses. With a heart filled with
grief, I only wanted to buy my few items and leave, but even
grocery shopping was different since he had passed on.

Shopping for one took time, a little more thought than it
had for two.

Standing by the meat, I searched for the perfect small
steak and remembered how he had loved his steak.

Suddenly a woman came beside me. She was blonde, slim and
lovely in a soft green pantsuit. I watched as she picked up
a large package of T-bones, dropped them in her basket..
hesitated, and then put them back. She turned to go and once
again reached for the pack of steaks.

She saw me watching her and she smiled. ‘My husband
loves T-bones, but honestly, at these prices, I don’t
know.’

I swallowed the emotion down my throat and met her pale
blue eyes.

‘My husband passed away eight days ago,’ I told
her. Glancing at the package in her hands, I fought to
control the tremble in my voice. ‘Buy him the steaks.
And cherish every moment you have together.’

She shook her head and I saw the emotion in her eyes as she
placed the package in her basket and wheeled away.

I turned and pushed my cart across the length of the store
to the dairy products. There I stood, trying to decide which
size milk I shoul d buy. A Quart, I finally decid ed and
moved on to the ice cream. If nothing else, I could always
fix myself an ice cream cone.

I placed the ice cream in my cart and looked down the aisle
toward the front. I saw first the green suit, then
recognized the pretty lady coming towards me. In her arms
she carried a package. On her face was the brightest smile!
I had ever seen. I would swear a soft halo encircled her
blonde hair as she kept walking toward me, her eyes holding
mine.

As she came closer, I saw what she held and tears began
misting in my eyes. ‘These are for you,’ she said
and placed three beautiful long stemmed yellow roses in my
arms. ‘When you go through the line, they will know
these are paid for.’ She leaned over and placed a gentle
kiss on my cheek, then smiled again. I wanted to tell her
what she’d done, what the roses meant, but still unable
to speak, I watched as she walked away as tears clouded my
vision.

I looked down at the beautiful roses nestled in the green
tissue wra pping and found it almost unreal. How did she
know? Suddenly the answer seem ed so clear. I wasn’t
alone.

Oh, you haven’t forgotten me, have you? I whispered,
with tears in my eyes. He was still with me, and she was his
angel.

Every day be thankful for what you have and who you are.

Think Before you SPEAK

The train has started moving. It is packed with people of all ages, mostly with the working men and women and young college guys and gals.

Near the window, seated a old man with his 30 year old son. As the train moves by, the son is overwhelmed with joy as he was thrilled with the scenery outside..

“See dad, the scenery of green trees moving away is very beautiful” This behavior from a thirty year old son made the other people feel strange about him.

Every one started murmuring something or other about this son.”This guy seems to be a krack..” newly married Anup whispered to his wife. Suddenly it started raining…

Rain drops fell on the travelers through the opened window. The Thirty year old son , filled with joy ” see dad, how beautiful the rain is ..” Anup’s wife got irritated with

the rain drops spoiling her new suit. Anup ,” cant you see its raining, you old man, if ur son is not feeling well get him soon to a mental asylum..and dont disturb public

henceforth” The old man hesitated first and then in a low tone replied ” we are on the way back from hospital, my son got discharged today morning , he was a blind by birth,

last week only he got his vision, these rain and nature are new to his eyes.. Please forgive us for the inconvenience caused…” The things we see may be right from our

perspective until we know the truth. But when we know the truth our reaction to that will hurt even us. So try to understand the problem better before taking a harsh action.

Unanswered prayer

A voyaging ship was wrecked during a storm at sea and only two of the men on it were able to swim to a small, desert like island. The two survivors, not knowing what else to do, agreed that they had no other recourse but to pray to God. However, to find out
whose prayer was more powerful, they agreed to divide the territory between them and stay on opposite sides of the island.

The first thing they prayed for was food. The next morning, the first man saw a fruit-bearing tree on his side of the land, and he was able to eat its fruit. The other man’s parcel of land remained barren.

After a week, the first man was lonely and he decided to pray for a wife. The next day, another ship was wrecked, and the only
survivor was a woman who swam to his side of the land. On the other side of the island, there was nothing.

Soon the first man prayed for a house, clothes, more food. The next day, like magic, all of these were given to him. However, the
second man still had nothing.

Finally, the first man prayed for a ship, so that he and his wife would leave the island. In the morning, he found a ship docked at
his side of the island.

The first man boarded the ship with his wife and decided to leave the second man on the island. He considered the other man unworthy to receive God’s blessings, since none of his prayers had been answered. As the ship was about to leave, the first man heard a voice from heaven booming, “Why are you leaving your companion on the island?”

“My blessings are mine alone, since I was the one who prayed for them,” the first man answered. “His prayers were all unanswered
and so he does not deserve anything.”

“You are mistaken!” the voice rebuked him. “He had only one prayer, which I answered. If not for that, you would not have received any of my blessings.”

“Tell me,” the first man asked the voice, “What did he pray for that I should owe him anything?” “He prayed that all your prayers be answered.”

For all we know, our blessings are not the fruits of our prayers alone, but those of another praying for us.

Courtesy: http://pravsworld.com/new/inspirational_words.htm

Love marriage vs Arranged marriage

Love Marriage	Arranged Marriage
Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to  movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.	Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The functions are added to supplement  the main program. The functions  can be added or deleted.
It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a  dynamic system and difficult to  maintain.	Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible
Family system hangs because  hardware (called parents) is not responding.	Compatible with hardware  (Parents).
You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.	You are a team member under project leader (parents) so they    are responsible for successful   execution of project Married life.
Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking ! food, washing clothes etc.	All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.
Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.	Product is sold on an as is where is basis. Product once sold will not be taken back!
Love Marriage is like Windows , beautiful n seductive…. Yet  one never knows when it will crash….	Arranged Marriage is like Unix… boring n colorless…  still extremely reliable n robust.

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