Marriage

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her -  David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together – Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher – Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them – Anonymous

The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want?” – Dumas

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me – Sigmund Freud

‘Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.’ – Anonymous

‘There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.   It’s called marriage.’ – Sam Kinison

‘I’ve had bad luck with both my wives..
The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.’ – James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up. – Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…. – Nash

You know what I did before I married?
Anything I wanted to – Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met – Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong – Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: ‘Wife wanted’. Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: ‘You can have mine.’ – Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): ‘My wife’s an angel!’
Second Guy: ‘You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.’ – Anonymous