Husband & Wife – Why divorce?
In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: “Your
honor, I want to divorce my husband.”
“But why?” asked the judge. She replied,
“Because he is not faithful to me.”
The judge asked, “How do you know?” She replied,
“My lord, not a single child resembles him.”
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Husband & Wife – Love Your Enemy
From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said,
“One month after I die I want you to marry Samy.”
“Samy! But he is your enemy !” “Yes, I know
that ! I’ve suffered all these years so let him suffer
now.”
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Husband & Wife – Wedding Ring
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,
“Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong
finger? “
The other replied, “Yes I am, I married the wrong
man.”
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Husband & Wife – Why?
” Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax
to my wife I’d be home that night, and when I got into
my room I found my wife in another man’s arms.
” Why, Dad? Tell me why!” Dad kept silent for a
few minutes, then coolly said, “Maybe, Son, she
didn’t get the fax.”
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Husband & Wife – Same Service
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, “When
we were first married, I would come home from the office, my
wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would
run around barking.
Now after ten years it’s all different, I come home,
the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around
barking.”
“Why complain?” said the counselor.
“You’re still getting the same service!”
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Husband & Wife – Talk About Husband
One woman told another : “My neighbour is always
speaking ill of her husband, but look at me, my husband is
foolish, lazy and a coward; but have I ever said anything
bad about him?”
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Husband & Wife – Love To Do
A wife, one evening, drew her husband’s attention to
the couple next door and said,
“Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He
kisses her every time they meet. Why don’t you do
that?”
“I would love to.” Replied the husband. “But
I don’t know her well enough.”
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Husband & Wife – No Answer Back
A man was telling his friends, “When my wife is
infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even
at our dogs and nobody dares answer her.”
One of his friends asked.”And when you are angry, what
do you do?” The man replied, “I also shout angrily
at the windows and doors of the house and none of them
dares to answer back.
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Husband & Wife – Come Home Late
A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband
always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.
“Take my advice,” said the neighbour, “and
do what I did. Once my husband came home at three
o’clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out:
“Is that you, Jim?” And that cured him.
“Cured him !” asked the woman, “but
how?” The neighbour said, “You see, his name is
Bill.”
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Husband & Wife – Problem Father
“You looked troubled,” I told my friend,
“what’s your problem?” He replied,
“I’m going to be a father.” “But
that’s wonderful,” I said. “What’s
wonderful? My wife doesn’t know about it yet
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